Condolence is a sincere expression of sympathy for an individual's loss. Condolences can be anything from "I am so sorry for your loss" to "it was a pleasure to have met you." What I'm writing about here are ten ways to respond in a clever way while giving the person sympathy ecard or grieving some comfort. If you need more ideas, check out our article on
In this post, we'll learn what things you should never say when someone has experienced the death of their loved one and how you can make them feel better with your words.
1. "I feel for you so badly."
This is the most common mistake people make when dealing with their loved ones' deaths. The main problem with this is that it makes the grieving person feel as if they should feel miserable and act as they do. Instead, what you should say is that you are thinking of them and that you're sorry to hear about their loss. These same things you have try to write in condolences cards. You can also use this opening line if they ask what happened to your loved one or if they express how much they enjoyed having your loved one visit them. This will show the grieving person that you care without making them feel even more guilty because they shouldn't be feeling guilty in the first place.
2. "They are in a better place."
Keep in mind that the grieving person may be an atheist, or they may be a believer in something else. Regardless of their beliefs, telling them that your loved one is gone to a better place isn't always helpful. This can even be hurtful to some people if they believe their loved one is in hell. If you say it, make sure you include the name of their religion; otherwise, it could cause another problem entirely.
3. "At least you'll be able to get some closure and move on. You'll be better for it."
This is another effort to comfort the grieving person that can backfire. Your loved one isn't the only one who lost someone, and your loved one's loved ones need time to process and move on as well. Instead of saying, "I moved on, and you should too," say something like, "It will get easier. Just take things slow… there's no rush. Create a free sympathy card online and send them as soon as possible. It can't just be handed to you like a gift at the end of a funeral service.
4. "You're strong enough; you can get through this. They're in a better place."
Again, this isn't always helpful to the grieving person. One thing that will help is for you to encourage your loved one to seek therapy, counseling, or mental health treatment. This will help them work through the negative feelings and emotions they may be dealing with because of their loss. Write those things on virtual sympathy cards that they'll be able to begin building a life again as they explore their own feelings and memories of the person that has passed away.
5. "She/he will be with us in spirit."
It's always better to say something specific than just "they're in a better place. They won't be gone forever." Sometimes, the passing of a loved one can leave a hole in a person's heart, and your loved one may still feel as though they're not really gone. Just say, "she/he will always be with me, and I will never forget them." This will give the grieving person the closure that they need.
6. "I'm sorry for your loss."
By saying this to the grieving person, you're implying that you were with their loved one when they died. This might make them feel like this was your fault and that you could have done something different to prevent them from dying. There's a lot that can go wrong during an illness and death, and it might not have been your fault. Instead of saying this and sending this on free sympathy card, tell the grieving person that you're sorry for their loss instead. You can also say this to them when they're asking if you saw how their loved one died.
7. "I understand how hard this must be"
It's important to know what the person is feeling before you try to comfort them with what you're feeling or thinking. It is helpful to communicate through words because there are no telepathic communication devices in the world like people think there are. Instead of saying this, you could simply say "I'm sorry" or "I know how much you miss him/her" to the grieving person.
8. "He/she was so young."
This doesn't help the grieving person at all. There's no age that is too young to die of a terminal illness, in a car accident, or during a violent crime. It can be hard on those who are left behind, no matter what the circumstances are or what their loved ones did with their life. Instead of saying this, say "he/she passed too soon" or mention something specific about them that made them unique and special to you and others who knew them.
9. "I know how you feel."
Everyone knows how the grieving person feels because everyone has lost someone they loved before, and it hurts to lose someone you care about. Unfortunately, this doesn't help anyone because it doesn't convey that you care. Instead of saying this, try something more like "every time I think of her/him, I remember all of the memories we had together." This will give them a sense of comfort that they need from others so send these on sympathy ecard who are close to them and will make them feel better about the death of their loved ones.
10. "He is in a much better place."
No one is sure what happens when we die, but we know that before their death, they were in a place where they were suffering, and now they are not. Instead of saying this, say something like, "he/she will be missed by all that knew him/her." Sometimes you might hear someone say, "even God won't take them back because he knows how much I love them." Something like this can be hurtful to the grieving person.