FAR BUT CLOSE
Have you ever wondered how someone can be so far away from you yet still very close to you? Well that was me when I travelled out of my country, Cameroon, to Dubai in the United Arab Emirates popularly referred to as the UAE. I travelled for the same reason may young men my age do, for better job opportunities. This was a very hard decision to make as it required me to leave my once very close love ones and relatives in Cameroon to travel through air to a distant location far from the place I have called home all my life. I can remember saying to myself in the plane that I am really going to miss this country. It was hard for me as I had recently gotten married a few months back and leaving my girls was a tough decision to make.
I had so much at stake back home. My Lovely wedded wife, Colors, whose smile could rainbow through an entire royal palace and whose voice were like that of a million angels singing praises in heaven. My beautiful daughter, Teddy bear Ice cream, whose hug I can’t seem to get enough of and her endless stories she loves to tell me. My parents and siblings, friends and neighbors and also all the financial and business network I had created back home, most of which I still needed to be communicating with on a daily bases. Guess what, social media provided me with the super powers I needed to solve my problem of distance in countless number of ways.
Social media is the number one networking hub in the world. It is a computer based technology that facilitates the sharing of ideas, thoughts, and information through the building of virtual networks and gives users quick electronic communication of content, such as personal information, documents, videos, and photos. Users engage with social media via a computer, tablet, or Smartphone via web-based software or applications. (https://www.investopedia.com/terms/s/social-media.asp )
To start with, social media helped keep me close to my love ones though I was physically thousands of miles away from them. I could talk with my parents and friends via WhatsApp messages and calls, on Facebook messenger and several other social media platforms all on my phone. I remember writing lots of emails to my brother who lived in Canada and he will just call me up on Skype video calls and we will chart all day long. My sister always left me voice notes on Telegram explaining how her day was or just sharing an audio or video file for me to enjoy. It felt almost as if I never left the country at all. I will equally link up with old high school friends and we will share fun school stories and laugh all day. One time I had five of my friends all who lived in different countries on a conference call on WhatsApp and it was as if we were all together hanging out in our favorite bar.
Equally, Social media enabled me stay connected with all family events. I never missed out on birthdays, baby showers, funeral programs, my daughter’s school events or my wife’s school events and so many others. I get updates about such events on my WhatsApp family groups. Also the family holds meetings on zoom where almost everyone participates in them. I make funeral contributions online and the list is updated on the family forums on social media. I even follow up live videos on my zoom accounts of wedding parties, funeral ceremonies, just to name a few. This gave me much joy to see that I could still stay connected to happenings at home though very far away out of the country.
Social media saved my marriage. Did I mention I am a very romantic and emotional person? Yeah! I am but also is my wife. Ever since God brought us together we’ve been stuck on each other like paper glue. Being away from each other for even a day is very hurtful talk less of being apart in different countries. I was able to talk with my wife every blessed day because of the availability of social media. We will talk often on video call on IMO and WhatsApp and I will even speak with my baby girl and sing her nursery rhymes while she listens. I will share photos and videos of myself and my new environment with my wife and she too will do the same. Most mornings I will wake to a beautiful picture of her wearing that smile I lovewhich she would occasionally send to me on WhatsApp. As the saying goes, distance makes the heart grow fonder but social media really helped me closed this gap.
In addition, I could also offer kind gestures to my wife though far away with the help of the social media. Sending love gifts on days like Valentine Days and Anniversaries was easy. This is true as I belong to many social media platforms like Telegram and WhatsApp were many businesses offer delivery services in my home country. I could equally easily reach out to a friend or family member on social media, discuss with them and send them money to buy my desired gift say a bouquet of flowers and have them bring it to my wife or daughter. I one time sent a bouquet of flowers and some chocolates via my cousin to my wife on her birthday; we had all the arrangements done online and when he went to give her the gifts, he called me up online on a video call on Skype and I witnessed the whole event on my phone. It was a real emotional experience as I burst into tears watching my wife shedding tears of joy as she received the gifts. This is just one out of many times I have done a similar thing.
Away from me, many other love birds separated as a result of distance equally use social media as a key ingredient in closing up the distance in their relationships. They make countless phone calls to each other, exchange text messages and other information online. Some even settle quarrels and disputes on social media. It is that handy.
Financially, many banks are becoming more and more customer friendly and they do this through social media. I basically get my bank account information via email. I also can easily from my bank’s website pay for the tuition fee of my wife and daughter back home. I can equally send money and snap the receipt and share that information with my relatives via social media. I can conveniently transfer money to pay up any expenses incurred back home as if I were there. I remember one time my wife had to celebrate the birthday of her mother who happens to be my sweet mother-in-law. She had everything planed out from the baking of the cake to the drinks to the invitees. I simply went online and transferred some money from my bank account to her mobile money account and gave her all my on input regarding the preparation on social media. All week we couldn’t stop posting pictures of the party on Facebook.
Also, I can easily follow up the activities of my love ones like my wife, daughter, parents and friends on Facebook. There I can see what they’ve been up to, the places they have visited such as towns, restaurants, school as well as online communities they belong to. It helps me stay in touch with everyone and also appreciate how much people have grown by looking at their current picture posts online. It enables me connect with friends, family and people who share the same interests as me. On Facebook, keeping up with people that matter to me is easy. I really do stay up to date with my love ones by sharing what’s on my mind, announcing major life events through my posts and celebrating the everyday moments with stories. I express myself through my profile and posts, watch, react, interact and stay in touch with my friends and family throughout the day especially with my wife and my daughter.
Social media made life convenient for me as I could interact with all those I hold dear just by clicking my phone. I had all my social media platforms on one device, my phone. It was easy for me to just pull it out and communicate with whosoever. Besides many social media apps have multiple services all on one app. This helps bring home closer to me.
Equally, it is a very cheap means of communication. It would have been so difficult for me if I had to spend several hundreds of dollars just to communicate with my family but that was not the case with using social media. It was very affordable and it still is the cheapest means of information sharing and communication. This really made my far distance close as I could easily pay for internet to use communicate with my family via social media.
Another thing I love about my local country is the local news. I love getting political, social and economic news about my home country directly from the channels they have back home. Being in a foreign country, social media helped bring these services to my bed. Thanks to social media, I could watch live news broadcast directly on YouTube or from the websites of the news provider of my country. Getting local news from my country was really important to me and I could get this easily on Google and other social media handles.
Social media helped me keep my Cameroon Job while out of Cameroon. While in Cameroon I worked as an Accountant with a manufacturing company. I was still doing their accounting through their online software and attending meetings on zoom where I shared my opinions and advised managementaccordingly. I will often prepare financial reports and send via emails to the owners of the business. It was as though I never left.
I love to share information a lot and I feared I may not be able to do this with the distance but boy was I wrong. With social media, sharing information with others is the main deal. I could share books, documents in any format with my wife and friends. It basically even offered me many options to choose from as I can for example choose to send a document via WhatsApp, Facebook, telegram or email just to name a few.
Colors and I love church and spiritual things. I love going to church and attending the service of my local church but being in a Muslim country, I kind of felt lost as they were very few Christian churches around. Then I turn to social media, my good friend. I could follow up my spiritual life by taking part inonline church services and worship. Applications such as the bible apps helped me get up to date as well. I could easily follow up particular bible course(s) along side with my wife who has the same app as well and grow spiritually together. We will often pray together at night on weekends and it will feel like I’m back home in our room in Cameroon holding evening devotions as we are usually do.
To add, it is worth mentioning that another way couples who are distant use social media to get close and intimate with each other is via phone sex. A lot of my friends encouraged me to partake in this with my wife but its’ something I couldn’t do as my religious belief forbids me. However, it’s nice also to know that social media provides room for that too.
Despite the many benefits and ways in which social media help to bridge the gap between people in relationships, their physical presence is still very much different from an online presence. I could get to send my wife all the love “emoji” and texts messages but it’s quite different from when I actually get to hold her in my arms physically and kiss her on the lips. Doing high fives on social media is cool, but it’s even cooler doing it in person. I think it is safe to say that despite the many ways in which social media help us to keep in touch with our love ones, it can never replace the feeling of physically being with them.