As guys, it is not that we often want to turn ladies off with the things we do or fail to do. Most times, it is just a matter of our personality and changing somethings about oneself is not always as easy as it sounds. If you have noticed that girls are almost always avoiding you, then I am pretty sure you don’t feel too good about yourself, unless of course you are gay. The worse part of it all is the fact that it is not always easy to tell what exactly turns ladies off. It is not enough to know the things girls love. You have to also be aware of the reasons why sometimes they just don’t seem to like some guys. There are actually a good number of reasons why women pull away. Knowing exactly what those reasons are could help you solve the problem and make more female friends or even get into a relationship.
Talking too much
I know being outspoken is a sign of manliness and maturity. However you should not mistake being outspoken with being a talkative. Those are two very different things. Being a talkative is one the things girls hate. Ladies just don’t want a guy who talks too much. And by too much I mean always wanting to say something even when you don’t have to. You should talk when you have something to say but never talk just because you have to say something. The average lady will consider such an attitude rude. A guy should be able to pull a discussions and get along with people well but that should not mean you have to be lousy. You are just going to be an annoying boyfriend if you don’t learn to talk only when necessary.
Being flirty
If you are looking to have a relationship with a lady, you must ensure that she does not even suspect you to be the flirty type. Some ladies will ignore it, and even those who can are very few. The majority of them will simply ignore a guy if they realize that he has the tendency to flirt around with any lady that seems attractive to him. One of the things girls love is to know that a guy has eyes that find no other woman attractive except her. She will consider any guy who shows the slightest interest in another woman as an annoying boyfriend.
The main issue about being a flirt is the fact that it gives ladies the impression that you cannot be faithful. It is a sign that a guy has issues with self control and that is one thing most girls cannot negotiate with. Unfortunately enough for most guys, ladies are very very observant and they will notice things about you that even you did not notice about yourself. A wondering eye, careless touch and the desire to talk with just any lady you see are signs that you are too flirty to keep any lady attracted to you. It threatens any lady’s security and she can tell from the onset that you are the type who will break her heart pretty soon. A lady may be initially attracted to you but when she realizes that you just cant resist the temptation to flirt, she will immediately begin to pull away.
Being Shy and withdrawn
Just like ladies don’t like guys who talk a lot, those who almost never talk also turn them off. One of the things girls hate is to hang out with a guy who just finds it difficult coming out of his shell. Ladies are very sociable and they are usually looking out for a man who can be mature enough to speak up when he has to and be quiet when he has nothing to say. Some men cannot even tall the difference between when talking is necessary and when it is not. If you find yourself on either extremes, you have to change. Being shy and withdrawn has certain messages is passes across to ladies about you.
Ladies consider that those who are shy are not strong enough to defend them if there is ever a need to. A guy who cannot speak up for himself will definitely not be able to speak up for a lady if he ever has to, much less defend her against assaults. Ladies know that sometimes, situations are going to come up in which you will have to defend them. And boy, it does not really matter whether she is wrong or right. You should be able to defend her no matter what. However, if you are always withdrawn and shy, she will not even want to get to the place where you have to defend her. You may have relatives and friends who want to treat her like trash. Worse of all you will have to stand up for yourself on many occasions. Just imagine your girl being the one who has to encourage you to speak up and speak out. Not cool at all.
Being outspoken and confident is one of the things girls love about guys they are attracted to. They love guys who are bold and intelligent enough to speak up wherever they find themselves. It gives a sense of confidence and is a great way to make ladies trust you.
Unromantic
As far as ladies are concerned, there are so many things that could be considered unromantic and you better know what those things are and avoid them. These will include a good number of Dos and Dont’s. Don’t ignore her when she has something to tell you, even if it makes no sense. Be romantic enough to listen. Don’t go for a whole day without calling or texting her, what are you thinking about all day if she is not in your thoughts? Initiate a touch or hug every once in a while to show affection. Be gentle and learn to happily do all those things modernity is trying to wipe out from the list of things guys have to do for girls like cooking, giving a foot rub, opening the door of the car for her and letting her sit her before you do. The list goes on and on. Some things on the list may seem very silly and useless but you must understand that those things are very important to ladies and no matter how you feel, you have to do them. Understand that one of the things girls hate is to have a guy who is unromantic or finds it hard to show affection. No girls wants to be treated like she is just another boyfriend of yours. If you can’t treat ladies specially, it is going to be very difficult to win their hearts. It does not matter how much money, influence, charm or charisma you have, just be a guy who understands that ladies are special and learn to treat her like a jewel that she is.
Too proud of their personality
Talk about being too full of oneself. Ladies cannot stand it. You will simply be another annoying boyfriend she has to drop along the way if you are too full of yourself. A guy sees a lady somewhere, likes her but would rather play games than walk up to her and let her know how he feels. Some times, the matter is worse. He is clearly riding a high horse. When ever he talks with a lady, she cant miss the fact that he is too full of himself. Always talking about his achievements, personality and fame. Girls are looking for guys who can be humble no matter what status they have. Believe me, there are still a good number of girls out there who know their worth and you better not do anything to make them feel like you are Mr Superior and they are just some item you can use at will. There are guys who expect ladies stand in awe and amazement at their personality or wealth. But that is just the very thing that makes them think such a guy is a jerk. Ladies prefer to hang around guys of average class and be respected than fall in love with a guy who has a lot of status, class and money but cannot show even the least sense of value for a woman.
Unable to listen
It is hard to please a woman if you do not know how to listen. One reason why women pull away is the fact that men can sometimes be too insensitive to their feelings that even listening becomes a problem. Women like to talk and whatever they deem necessary is what they will talk about. All they require of you is to give your full attention and listen. Is that too much to ask. Don’t be the guy who always is looking at the televisions and nodding to what he is not paying attention to. Women want to know that a guy really loves them and to them, one way to do that is by watching whether or not the man can give his undivided attention. Sometimes, guys listen, sometimes they don’t, other times they are only half attentive and yet they would only listen when she is talking about certain things (which may not matter much to her).
Guys don’t always want to listen as much as they should. Seriously, sometimes, what the lady is saying is very boring and especially when it is something you have no interest in. For example, she may want to tell you about some of the petty talks she had wit her friends or the things she noticed at the supermarket earlier that day. But the you are thinking about the football match that is going on on tv and engrossed in chatting about it with your friends on social media. Now you are answering her questions or nodding to the statements she is making but she can clearly see that you don’t have any interest in what she is saying. So she thinks it could be great if she just tries again, but yet that too fails. She is frustrated and angry about the situation but you don’t even notice it because you are still not paying attention to her. Very few things are more frustrating to a lady. They sincerely wish guys to could understand how they feel about this but they hardly do, so most ladies either get to use to it or shut out their hearts to the guys who find it hard to listen.
Unkempt hair
Guys, seriously, having a shave after every few days is not as expensive as some people make it seem. One of those things girls hate is a guy who is not even responsible enough to take care of himself. Ladies lite guys with beards and body hair. It is a sign maturity and masculinity but at the same time, you have to realize that keeping an unkempt bear or hair on your heard is simply disgusting. The truth is every guy looks more handsome when his beard is trimmed and his hair is shaved. When you look at yourself in the mirror, a shabby look bear may seem to make you looks tough and manly but to ladies, it is a sign that you are irresponsible and untidy. Even if you don’t want to visit the barber’s shop very often, get a shaving bic and a pair of scissors to keep your hair in shape.
Dressing poorly
Ladies love and are always attracted to guys who dress well. Guys who have a good sense of style can usually get the ladies they like. For some reason, some guys just have no idea what dressing well is all about. It is either he buys a good pair of trousers and matches it with the wrong pair of shoes or simply has a problem with color combination. Every guy loves to see a lady who is well dressed. And dressing well means different things to different people but if we bring everything down to basics, it is about looking responsible and attractive. That should be you aim when you dress. Check up what is appropriate for every occasion and wear just that. Don’t get in the habit of putting on dresses just because you like the way they look on you in the mirror. Make sure they are appropriate and attractive.
Lack of motivation or focus
It is important that every guy who want to avoid turning ladies off understands the importance of being motivated and having a focus or bearing in life. You are only going to be an annoying boyfriend without these two qualities. If your life is not about something, you will always seem to be overdependent and needy. Always wanting affection and attention. Ladies will also consider that you are to childish or immature for them. You may have a few ladies who will not mind but that is only because they too are not mature enough to judge right and determine what really matter and what doesn’t. One of the things girls love is a guy who can be focused and motivated towards a particular goal. Men who lack these qualities will keep wondering why women pull away.
Motivation is one of those qualities that makes a guy consistent in the way he relates with a lady. It also shows in other areas of his life. Ladies love men who are passionate and motivated about something. They don’t always need to be pushed into making decisions about serious issues. Some guys actually know what to do but because there is little or not motivation, you find that they are always waiting for someone to encourage or motivate them into taking action. For some guys, the real issue is indecision. When a lady realizes that you have issues with making a decision, she begins to feel insecure around you because she is conscious of the fact that even your decision to love and be loyal to her could change at any time.
Focus is a sign of maturity. Guys who find it difficult to be focused will always turn ladies off. Your level of focus on the “little things” in life will tell her how focused you are going to be in a relationship and in other things that really matter in life.
Having a “user” mentality
Some guys can lead a lady on for months, say all the nice things there are to say, take her to the best places and have wonderful experiences together only to leave her in pain once he has gotten into her pants. But being the kind of guy who like to use ladies is not limited to sex. This is one of the worse things girls hate about guys. It is also one of the major reasons why women pull away. There are several ways guys use girls and make them feel stupid at the end of it all. A guy may sweep a lady off her feet with his wonderful looks and charming style. But sometimes, underneath what seems like a cool personality is a viper waiting to stink when the opportunity presents itself. Ladies are usually able to discern the character and intentions of these kind of people. But for some reasons, they are so vulnerable that it seems difficult for them to stay away from such people they suspect them very much. However there are some ladies who will immediately avoid you if they know that you are simply trying to use them and once you have whatever it is that you want, you will simply take off and be gone. It could be money you want, companionship, friendship in a time of pain or worse still just sex. Whatever it is, you need to get your motives right before getting into a relationship with any lady.
Unsupportive
Most ladies would go to unbelievable extents to support a guy but an annoying boyfriend will hardly do the same. All that is necessary is for them to actually love you genuinely. When ladies love, they usually do so very passionately. You don’t need to push any buttons. They are also looking for that same type of commitment from guys who claim to love them. Be supportive financially, physically, spiritually and emotionally. When a guy is unsupportive, ladies just draw away from him. It means they would have to carry the entire burden of the relationship alone most of the time and that is a terrible thing. One of the things girls love is for a guy to show that he can stand by them in very though times by making a commitment to be supportive when things are not that bad.
Too touchy
Guys who are touchy are too childish for serious ladies. You are going to get offended over one thing or the other she does or does not do. But when being angry at a lady becomes something that happens over every little issue that comes, there is a problem and such an attitude will turn off even the nicest ladies. Ladies are even more tender hearted than their bodies are. They must be pampered and treated with respect. That means having the maturity to overlook the little things that they may do wrong. Any guy who wants ladies to easily be attracted to him must be able to overlook certain things.
Acts different with a lady in public
if you call someone your girlfriend, it is simply not fair to treat her differently in public from the way you treat her privately. If you are not proud of her in public, there is no way you can claim to love her. Sometimes a guy could treat his girl friend like a sister in public either because he is not proud of her or he is simply interested in another and is hoping to cheat. However this is one the things girls hate about guys who are not mature enough to either be proud of them or get someone they can be proud of.
Giving mixed signals
An annoying boyfriend will always give mixed signals about his feelings and commitment to the relationship you share together. Guys sometimes act like they are not sure of what they want and it is one reason why women pull away sometimes. You cannot expect a lady to pour out her heart into a relationship when all the while you are simply acting like you don’t really know what you want.